[Hello, this is Rene A. I had started this blog a while back (as you can tell from the date of this post) but have recently decided to re-purpose it as an advice blog with my friend Lara B. I deleted most of the former posts, but I wanted to keep some of the ones I felt were still relevant.]
Why is it that in this country, everyone is “free to be themselves” except our own children? From the moment of birth or conception, we create futures for them; what is and what is not acceptable for them to do with their lives. We take away their God-given free will before they can even talk. We impose restrictions on our “unconditional love and acceptance”. So long as they “fit” into our preconceived notions of what we think they should do and who they should be, all is good; however, the slightest deviation results in rejection and bullying.
It’s not fair.
A few months ago, I decided to go a different path than what I was taught was acceptable. Am I doing anything against the law? No. Am I being an irresponsible parent? No. Does my work suffer in any way? No. So, what was so bad that I decided to do that would cause my parents to think I’ve become a “less than good” person? I decided their religion wasn’t right for me. A religion who’s focus isn’t on inner spirituality but outer righteousness. If you don’t look/act a certain way, you are ungodly.
Yesterday, I went to my parents house and showed them the very subtle dark purple streaks in my black hair. I was ignored by my mom, and all my dad said was, “Why??”
That hurt. It did. I was excited about my hair, but in less than 30 seconds, I was reduced to feeling like a chastened 14 year old.
I’m a responsible 27 year old mom of one. I know how to make good decisions for myself and by myself. So when, Mom and Dad, are you going to start treating me like an adult?
What do I want my daughter to be when she grows up? It’s not up to me. It’s up to her. All I can do is love and support her.
/steps down from my soapbox ’till another day.